And we’re back . . . for the last time.
Bittersweet, I know.
Game of Thrones has been an important touchstone in my life, both for introducing me to A Song of Ice and Fire and George R.R. Martin more broadly, but for making ascendant the fantasy genre on television and bringing blockbuster filmmaking to the small screen.
And therein, as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub.
The reason is that the show, now past the books meticulously plotted and written by Martin, embraced its status as the biggest show on the planet – and, like many blockbuster movies, got really dumb.
When last we spoke about Game of Thrones, it was “Beyond the Wall,” the worst episode of the series by far. It was so bad that I lost the will to finish this recap at the time, as Season 7 faded into memory. Now, almost two years later, I’m here to finish what I started, catch up where we left off, and console myself that it probably took as much as effort as the forthcoming episodes did. Probably.
The eighth and final season premiering this weekend will make four seasons of reviews for me, first here on the Slog for season 5, then over at Heroic Hollywood for season 6, and then back here for season 7. The fantasy genre has the ability to open worlds and possibilities the mundane world cannot and that is something I’ve loved about it since I was a child. I kept returning to that connection as I grew older and Thrones became a vessel to bond on a broad scale over something I had innate passion for. Shout out to Chelsea Lewis for her encouragement and support!
With the show’s reductive winnowing still ongoing, the locations of focus in “The Dragon and the Wolf” are the four most iconic: King’s Landing, Winterfell, Dragonstone and the Wall.
- KING’S LANDING
We start in the capital, which Dany’s army of Unsullied and Dothraki have surrounded in anticipation of her meeting with Cersei at the Dragonpit.
Jaime & Bronn are on the walls. Something about cocks? You can tell when it’s Benioff and Weiss dialogue. They tend to be as crude as possible, without GRRM’s romantic touch that really makes it stick.
Our convenient collection of heroes sail in. Lots of reunions – Tyrion and Pod and Bronn, the Hound and Brienne. Because many of the characters have been exaggerated or neutered, it all feels pretty weightless.
Gotta respect their consistency when it comes to gloss; in addition to travel constraints, they gloss over cultural constraints. The Dothraki, who religiously fear water and rape and pillage as worship, seem completely comfortable in this foreign land they’ve never been to and just chilling. I get it, they ran out of time, the actors were aging, everybody was tired and missed their families, it was hella expensive etc.. But for a show that started out as deconstruction, stuff like this punctures the verisimilitude that made it popular in the first place.
Hell, even their sentimentality comes across forced, such as when Tyrion and Bronn share a genuine moment of friendship. It feels more like what fans want to hear than what these characters would say.
Jon and co. arrive first, Cersei and co. second, and Dany last on dragonback. Even more reunions – Jaime and Brienne, Cersei and Tyrion, Euron and Theon, the Hound and the Mountain.
They present the wight to Cersei. Qyburn falls in love with its severed hand.
Also, let’s be blunt: the show’s interpretation of Jon sucks. His honor comes less as a light in the dark of Westeros than as pig-headed foolishness. The creators compound this issue by rewarding him for his various stupid decisions, such as his terrible military command nearly costing the Northerners the Battle of the Bastards and his inane leadership Beyond the Wall (where he defies death not once, not twice, but three times).
Cersei bounces after Jon announces he’s already pledged himself to Dany. Tyrion goes to talk with her.
Tyrion also got bastardized, as we can see when he from this conversation, where any sort of personal angst is removed because he’s just so wise and beloved. It brings into starker (ha) contrast his book journey, which sees him destroyed by the world around him and by his father’s murder rather than come to terms with them.
Back at the Dragonpit, Jon and Dany chill together. Tyrion returns with Cersei who pledges her army to fight the Night King.
Psych!
Just as Jaime tries to assemble what’s left of the Lannister army to march north, Cersei reveals her shocking intent to betray the other monarchs. She wants to let the White Walkers destroy her enemies while Euron ferries the Golden Company from Essos to replace the army lost in “The Spoils of War.” This finally drives Jaime away just as snow starts to fall in King’s Landing.
The Golden Company fulfills a much larger purpose in the novels, most threads of which have already been severed, so this may be a case of the creators using a name than directly adapting the mercenaries as depicted in the books. Speaking of which, I’m curious if Euron amounts to much either, or if he truly is the glorified frat bro he appears to be*.
We’re also reminded several times that Cersei is (supposedly) pregnant. It seems fairly clear this will come to nothing, whether by miscarriage or Cersei’s own death. It’s such a weird dangling thread left without much heft to it.
*The books intertwine Euron with the Faceless Men a bit, which I would love the show to reveal. Frankly, everything appears pretty straightforward now that the Long Night has come again. I crave at least one surprise. Seriously, the Faceless Men have the power to control kingdoms and worship the God of fucking Death. Please make them more than an elaborate training montage stretched out over two seasons.
- DRAGONSTONE
Back at Dragonstone, Daenerys organizes her defense of the North. Jon convinces her to sail to White Harbor and take the road to Winterfell, rather than flying her dragon as good ole Jorah* suggested.
*Speaking of which, this guy’s narrative arc is over. He’s just waiting to die at this point.
Theon and Jon share one of the best scenes in the finale. It’s something so divergent from the books that its unlikely as hell it will be in Martin’s version, but this moment of catharsis sells, mainly thanks to Alfie Allen’s committed performance. This is a guy who hung on a wall getting tortured for a season. His dedication He convinces the remaining Ironborn loyalists to rescue to Yara.
Jon and Dany bang on the boat, just as we learn they’re related (more below). Tyrion watches with a hint of jealousy. If this ends up as a wedge in season 8, I’ll rescind some of my criticism that the show doesn’t care about Tyrion’s heart in conflict.
- WINTERFELL
The drama at Winterfell. Sansa and Arya are at each other’s throats! Bran is a creepy and inhuman. Will the Starks fall to infighting?
Fuck no! Nobody thought that, because this obviously evil guy has been hanging around for seven seasons.
The death of Littlefinger, symbolically removing the messy politics of the War of the Five Kings (which he deliberately engineered) to focus on the high fantasy of fighting an absolute, must-be-defeated evil of the Night King, the White Walkers, and the Army of the Dead. Lots of remembrance of Ned in this episode, from Jon and Theon to Sansa and Arya at the end. Ned died but his legacy lived on. Tywin lived but his legacy rotted the moment he died.
Sam arrives and talks with Bran, both putting the pieces of Jon’s birth together to discover he is the true-born son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, named Aegon Targaryen. What feels like a big deal somehow comes off as yet another Deus ex Machina for Jon Snow, who got just got three. It wouldn’t bother me as much if Jon wasn’t portrayed as suicidally stupid, which clashes with their whole “good is flawed” ethos that felled characters like Ned and Oberyn Martell. It makes him them + Plot Armor and cheapens the stakes they tried to establish in earlier seasons.
SIDE NOTE: Robot Bran is uninteresting as fuck.
The discovery of Jon’s parentage coincides with Jon and Dany consummating their love. Gotta admire the show for sticking with what clearly made it great to begin with – incest.
- EASTWATCH
We journey to Eastwatch via Bran’s ravens. Beric has made himself home with Tormund and the remaining wildlings.
After seven seasons, the White Walkers and their Army of the Dead have arrived at the Wall.
And the Night King looks hilarious atop undead Viserion. Is the blue flame he breaths fire? Whatever the case, it melts ice and wildlings* alike.
(*There were 2,000 wildlings before the Battle of the Bastards, which saw the bulk slaughtered. Tormund survives Eastwatch’s destruction, but beyond him, who knows if any are left. Or if the show cares)
It seems unlikely the Wall’s destruction in the books will be so straight forward, where magic plays a much larger role and much more complicated web is spun around why and how the Wall comes down, complete with dragontaming horns. Here, it basically boils down “go around it” after you fall ass backwards onto a dragon.
And that’s a wrap! See you this Sunday night/Monday morning to soak in the beginning of the last episodes of Game of Thrones forever*.
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